Adapt and Overcome

One of the advantages of having your kids grow up and move away (and those advantages are legion, however sad you may be in the beginning) is the ability to address bodily issues in your own house without regard to any sort of modesty. Last night, Diana looked over as I was paying some much-needed attention to my crotch:

“What are you digging at? Do you have chiggers or something?”
“No. Just a little itchy. I forgot to pack clean underwear and socks in my gym bag this morning and didn’t realize it until after I had worked out and showered.”
“So what did you do?”
“What could I do? I put my old ones back on.”
“Ewwww, you’re gross. Weren’t they all sweaty?”
“Nah, I dried them out before I put them back on.”
“How did you do that?”
“I used one of the electric hand dryers. Some guy walked in on me standing naked and holding my drawers under the dryer – which at that point looked like a giant underwear balloon in the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade. He just smiled, nodded, and kept on going. I’m assuming I didn’t invent the technique.”
“Did you come home and change?”
“Didn’t want to waste the gas. I was right there by work.”
“What is wrong with you? Did you change after you got off work?”
“Well, by that time, I figured I only had a few hours left until bed time, so why waste a perfectly clean pair of underwear?”
“You deserve to itch.”
“I know. I wasn’t complaining about it, you were.”

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