Southern Idioms

Whenever I’m apt to forget I am married to a farmer’s daughter, Diana has subtle ways of reminding me of the fact. She had to work on Saturday, so she inquired about my plans for the day:

“So, what are you going to do here while I’m at work?”
“Well, I’ve kind of let the house go over the past week , so I’ll probably clean today. There are so many crumbs on the kitchen floor, it’s like walking across a room full of Legos.”
“Yeah, sorry, that’s probably my fault. Oh, hey, would you clean my bathroom?”
“I shaved my legs this morning and it looks like I skinned a possum in the tub.”

I stared at her for a minute with my mouth hanging open until I started to laugh.

“Are you maybe exaggerating just a little bit?”
“Just wait till you see it.”
“I’m not sure I want to.”

In the future, leg-shaving will be referred to in our house as “skinnin’ the possum.”

“Dang, Hon. About time to skin the possum, ain’t it?”
“No, I’ll just wear long pants for another week.”

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